Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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