Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize