Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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