I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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