he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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