i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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