I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize