Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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