I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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