life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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