When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize