It's Friday. Sex?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize