My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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