peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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