Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish i was in the wii world.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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