The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize