Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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