the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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