I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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