JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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