I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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