That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize