How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
barbara walters just said penis...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
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I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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