Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize