is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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