A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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