The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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