Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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