For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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