Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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