Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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