Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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