I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
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I think I sprained my soul last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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