I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
tell me about the fingering
Randomize