K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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