five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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