Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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