Porn is love you can see.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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