I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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