I'm eating all of the evidence.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize