I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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