suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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