just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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