U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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