that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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