I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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