I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize