she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize