Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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