I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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